Ni\u00f0ur vi\u00f0 str\u00f6ndina ganga menn og selja \u201eRolex-\u00far\u201c, le\u00f0urveski, belti og alls kyns appar\u00f6t sem eiga a\u00f0 l\u00e9tta manni l\u00edfi\u00f0 en \u00fea\u00f0 er bara ekkert h\u00e6gt a\u00f0 l\u00e9tta manni l\u00edfi\u00f0 meira en n\u00fa \u00feegar. Eftir t\u00edu daga \u00e1 svona sta\u00f0, sem gerir engar kr\u00f6fur til manns, l\u00ed\u00f0ur ma\u00f0ur \u00e1fram, me\u00f0 engar \u00fearfir, eins og gufa. \u00c9g nenni varla a\u00f0 drekka kaffi, hva\u00f0 \u00fe\u00e1 a\u00f0 sko\u00f0a s\u00edmann en samt er n\u00f3g a\u00f0 fr\u00e9tta a\u00f0 heiman: Verkf\u00f6ll, verkb\u00f6nn og b\u00e6jarstj\u00f3raskipti \u00ed heimab\u00e6num. Ma\u00f0ur sko\u00f0ar \u00feetta h\u00e9r \u00e1 str\u00f6ndinni, r\u00fdnir \u00ed s\u00edmann, rembist vi\u00f0 a\u00f0 halda athyglinni en hugurinn fer eitthvert anna\u00f0. Sl\u00fa\u00f0ri\u00f0 og kjaftagangurinn b\u00ed\u00f0ur s\u00edns t\u00edma.<\/p>\n
M\u00e9r finnst stundum eins og fr\u00e9ttir eigi s\u00e9r alltaf sta\u00f0 \u00e1 \u00feeim st\u00f6\u00f0um sem \u00e9g er ekki \u00e1. \u00c6tli \u00fea\u00f0 s\u00e9 ekki lukka m\u00edn \u00ed l\u00edfinu?<\/p>\n
H\u00e9r skammt fr\u00e1 er kaffih\u00fas sem selur \u00eds. J\u00e1, e\u00f0a \u00f6llu heldur \u201e\u00edsr\u00e9tti\u201c og ef eitthva\u00f0 kallar fram minningar um fer\u00f0al\u00f6g \u00e6skunnar eru \u00fea\u00f0 \u00edsr\u00e9ttir. R\u00f3lex\u00far \u00edsr\u00e9ttanna var svokalla\u00f0 Banana-splitti. \u00cd \u00fev\u00ed er n\u00e1tt\u00farulega einn banani, \u00ferj\u00e1r \u00edsk\u00falur, rj\u00f3mi og s\u00fakkula\u00f0is\u00f3sa. Oft skreytt me\u00f0 kokteils\u00f3lhl\u00edfum sem ma\u00f0ur s\u00ed\u00f0an t\u00f3k heim sem minjagrip.<\/p>\n
\u00c9g er mannlegur og gef stundum eftir \u00fe\u00e1\u00fer\u00e1nni. Raunar ekki oft ef \u00fat \u00ed \u00fea\u00f0 er fari\u00f0. Horfi t.a.m. sjaldan \u00e1 kvikmyndir sem \u00e9g elska\u00f0i sem barn e\u00f0a unglingur. Me\u00f0 nokkrum mj\u00f6g mikilv\u00e6gum undantekningum finnst m\u00e9r \u00fe\u00e6r flestar barn s\u00edns t\u00edma og er almennt \u00feeirrar sko\u00f0unar a\u00f0 sumt eigi bara a\u00f0 gleymast. \u00dea\u00f0 er engin \u00e1st\u00e6\u00f0a til a\u00f0 halda Naked Gun me\u00f0 Leslie Nielsen \u00e1 lofti. E\u00f0a Rocky IV. E\u00f0a Hefnd busanna. \u00dea\u00f0 \u00fearf ekki a\u00f0 l\u00e1ta eins og Duran Duran s\u00e9 besta hlj\u00f3msveit allra t\u00edma. \u00cdraf\u00e1r var ekki skemmtileg hlj\u00f3msveit.<\/p>\n
\u00dea\u00f0 var ekki allt gott \u00ed gamla daga en \u00fea\u00f0 vir\u00f0ist ekki vera h\u00e6gt a\u00f0 jar\u00f0a sumt \u00ed dag. Vi\u00f0 lifum \u00e1 t\u00edmum fort\u00ed\u00f0ar\u00fer\u00e1hyggju. Make America Great Again og allt \u00fea\u00f0. \u00deetta er e\u00f0lilegt vi\u00f0brag\u00f0 \u00ed menningu \u00fear sem allt er \u00e1 fleygifer\u00f0. Vi\u00f0 h\u00f6fum ekki undan a\u00f0 taka vi\u00f0 st\u00f3rfr\u00e9ttum og uppl\u00fdsingat\u00e6knibyltingum. Svampurinn er gegnblautur og vi\u00f0 finnum f\u00f3tfestu \u00ed g\u00f6mlu g\u00f3\u00f0u d\u00f6gunum \u00feegar allt var svo einfalt og n\u00e6s og anal\u00f3g. Heimurinn \u00ed mesta lagi tv\u00edskiptur: CCCP vs. USA, Duran vs. Wham, KK vs. KVK.<\/p>\n
\u00cd einhverju fer\u00f0alaginu \u00ed \u00de\u00fdskalandi um \u00e1ri\u00f0, me\u00f0 br\u00e6\u00f0rum m\u00ednum og foreldrum, var bananasplitti\u00f0 einn af h\u00e1punktunum fer\u00f0arinnar. Eitthva\u00f0 sem ma\u00f0ur sag\u00f0i fr\u00e1 er heim var komi\u00f0, til marks um a\u00f0 allt hef\u00f0i veri\u00f0 l\u00e1ti\u00f0 undan manni. Og \u00e9g l\u00e9t \u00fea\u00f0 eftir m\u00e9r \u00e1 \u00edskaffih\u00fasinu Par\u00eds <\/em>h\u00e9r steinsnar fr\u00e1 h\u00f3telinu. <\/em>M\u00e1la\u00f0 r\u00f6nd\u00f3tt a\u00f0 utan eins og vera ber, sj\u00e1lf gle\u00f0in uppm\u00e1lu\u00f0, og vi\u00f0 fengum bor\u00f0 innandyra \u00fear sem vi\u00f0 s\u00e1tum \u00ed loftk\u00e6ldum svalanum, \u00fe\u00f6g\u00f0um og smj\u00f6ttu\u00f0um \u00e1 \u00eds. \u00cd loftinu h\u00e9kk \u00e1kl\u00e6\u00f0i \u00ed fj\u00f3lubl\u00e1um lit me\u00f0 alls kyns bl\u00fandum og rykkingum, \u00fej\u00f3nustuf\u00f3lki\u00f0 var \u00e1 \u201ebesta aldri\u201c eins og vi\u00f0 segjum og \u00fea\u00f0 finnst manni athyglisvert komandi fr\u00e1 landi \u00fear sem unglingar sinna svona st\u00f6rfum.<\/p>\n Bananasplitti\u00f0 var \u00fea\u00f0 sem \u00fea\u00f0 var: Banani me\u00f0 \u00eds, rj\u00f3ma og s\u00fakkula\u00f0is\u00f3su. Ekki komb\u00f3 \u00fear sem heildin er st\u00e6rri en summa hlutanna. Sums\u00e9, bara alveg eins og mig gruna\u00f0i og au\u00f0vita\u00f0 \u00e6tti bananasplitti\u00f0 a\u00f0 rata \u00e1 ruslahauga s\u00f6gunnar eins og kvikmyndirnar Porky\u00b4s og Hv\u00edtir m\u00e1var. \u00c9g ger\u00f0i \u00fev\u00ed samt skil, \u00e1t \u00fea\u00f0 upp til agna og var ekki \u00ed neinni st\u00f6\u00f0u til a\u00f0 gagnr\u00fdna eitt n\u00e9 neitt. Haf\u00f0i r\u00e9tt loki\u00f0 vi\u00f0 a\u00f0 \u00feurrka m\u00e9r um munninn \u00feegar tengd\u00f3 spur\u00f0i hva\u00f0 okkur fyndist eiginlega um \u00feennan fr\u00e1gang \u00e1 loftinu, um \u00e1kl\u00e6\u00f0i\u00f0, um allar \u00feessar rykkingar og bl\u00fandur. \u00c9g yppti \u00f6xlum, hef aldrei haft sko\u00f0un \u00e1 \u00e1kl\u00e6\u00f0um \u00ed lofti e\u00f0a bl\u00fandum og \u00feess h\u00e1ttar.<\/p>\n \u201eFinnst ykkur ekki eins og \u00fei\u00f0 s\u00e9u\u00f0 inni \u00ed l\u00edkkistu?\u201c spur\u00f0i h\u00fan svo og skipti ekki um svip.<\/p>\n \u00c9g kunni ekki vi\u00f0 a\u00f0 svara \u00feessu j\u00e1tandi. Ekki fyrir framan b\u00f6rnin a.m.k. og sat bara \u00fearna og \u00feag\u00f0i \u00e1 me\u00f0an \u00feau kl\u00e1ru\u00f0u \u00edsinn sinn. \u00cd einhverskonar grafar\u00fe\u00f6gn m\u00e6tti kannski segja \u00fev\u00ed \u00ed huganum jar\u00f0a\u00f0i \u00e9g endanlega bananasplitti\u00f0.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Ni\u00f0ur vi\u00f0 str\u00f6ndina ganga menn og selja \u201eRolex-\u00far\u201c, le\u00f0urveski, belti og alls kyns appar\u00f6t sem eiga a\u00f0 l\u00e9tta manni l\u00edfi\u00f0 en \u00fea\u00f0 er bara ekkert h\u00e6gt a\u00f0 l\u00e9tta manni l\u00edfi\u00f0 meira en n\u00fa \u00feegar. Eftir t\u00edu daga \u00e1 svona sta\u00f0, sem gerir engar kr\u00f6fur til manns, l\u00ed\u00f0ur ma\u00f0ur \u00e1fram, me\u00f0 engar \u00fearfir, eins og gufa. …